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A Cure for Perfectionism: How to Halt Unrealistically High Expectations

Are you a perfectionist? Are you a recovering perfectionist? Are you not responding because you’re afraid of answering incorrectly?

Whatever your answer may be, one thing is certain . . .

Perfectionism breeds worry.

Think of it this way, if you’re a perfectionist where work is concerned, you may find yourself worrying about making mistakes, being rejected, losing the sale, or being anything other than number one in your field. If you are consumed by achieving the perfect appearance, you’ll likely worry about aging, your weight, or your wardrobe.

I realize that striving for perfection does have its place. At… Read More

The Stress-Eating Cycle: Why you get sucked in and how to get out!

So you’ve committed (and recommitted) to sticking to your healthy eating plan.

But . . .

You feel stressed (bored, overwhelmed, tired), so . . .

You eat a donut (a cupcake, a cookie) or two . . . or twelve.

You feel relief . . . for a while.

The relief wears off and regret sets in.

The regret triggers more stress and . . . you reach for those darn comfort foods again!

Why did it happen?

I mean . . .

. . . you knew what you had planned to eat that day.

. . .… Read More

The “Worry Gene” and Sound Advice from Walt Disney

Is worry genetic?

The answer is . . .

YES!

The discovery of a “worry-gene” made front-page news of the New York Times. The article reported a study published by the journal Science. It turns out, there is a certain gene associated with worry.

This gene (specifically, gene SLC6A4 on chromosome 17q12) has a long version and a short version.

If you get the short end of the stick – I mean, the short version of this gene – from either one of your parents, you’re likely to be more prone to worry, anxiety, and negative thinking.

So what does… Read More

How to Create an Extraordinary Life . . . Even When You’re Not Feeling So Extraordinary

Do you know what tomorrow will look like for you? If you’re like most people, tomorrow will look a lot like today does – in the same way today looks a lot like yesterday did. For most, tomorrow will be filled with the same story, the same characters, and the same scenery as you travel the same route to work with the same thoughts running through your mind. You’ll likely even feel the same way tomorrow that you feel today. In fact, it’s quite likely not much will be different at all. It will be familiar, known, and ordinary as… Read More

The Boomerang Effect

I was sitting in my car at a gas station on the corner of a busy intersection watching the line of cars stopped at a stoplight. Two teen-aged boys sat in the first car stopped at the light. The teenager in the passenger seat threw a pop can out of his window. Immediately after, the driver in the car behind the teens jumped out of his vehicle, picked up the pop can, tossed it back through the teenager’s window and got back into his car. The light turned green and they all drove away.

The whole scene fascinated me and… Read More

Retrain Your Thinking to Regain Your Inner Peace

It was a Saturday morning and my then nine-year-old daughter, Brianna, was getting dressed to take an entrance exam at a school. Just before we left the house, I noticed she had matched her nice clean outfit with her old outdoor running shoes. I said, “Brianna, do you think you should put on a different pair of shoes?”

She looked down at her feet and then back up at me and said, “Mom, they’re not testing me on my shoes.”

I said, “You’re absolutely right.”

And we headed off to school—Brianna withRead More

Take Back Your Power by Accepting Responsibility

Worrier says: It’s not my fault that I worry.

Warrior says: Worry is a choice. I choose to let go of worry. I intend to live with inner peace.

Years ago, I was convinced my weight was the source of my worry. Despite well-meaning advice from friends and family, I thought if I could only lose enough weight, my worries would disappear. I believed being thin would fix everything. Everyone would like me, I would like myself, and I would finally be calm and carefree.

PerhapsRead More

The Kindness of a Complete Stranger

“The world is full of good people. If you can’t find one, be one!” — Unknown

This is a story of an act of kindness from a complete stranger which had a profound impact. It happened when I was in Saint Lucia with my family.

My sister, Deanna, who also happens to be my best friend and one of the funniest and kindest people I know, went blind in one eye about 9 years ago. Deanna sometimes feels self-conscious about the way her eye looks now. The pupil is no longer black; it’s bright and shiny—it… Read More

Could Worry Actually Be Helping You?

I was once a chronic worrier. The strange thing is, I believed that my worry was helping me.

Looking back now, I can see how it was “helping” me. Worrying about my weight and appearance—on top of continually denying my feelings because I worried too much about what others thought of me—helped me to develop bulimia. Worrying about being loveable and being good enough helped me to stay in unhealthy relationships. Worrying about being likeable helped me to not stand up for myself, express my needs, and do what was best for me. Worrying about money helped me to lie… Read More